Some of our neighbors, who are just as duplicitous as we are, will meet us in the water of an evening, naked as if by chance. We glance at each other's bodies and wander off to find a less populous place. In the daytime, we look at each other just as normal people, but somehow, there is an awareness, a secret smile that says 'I know what's under those clothes, that bathing suit'. I have seen neighbors — men and women — looking at Jill with knowing hunger. I have seen her undress them — no, simply ignore their clothes — perusing their bodies in a way that shows she knows the shape of their bare skin. Her gaze is positively feral.No one says anything about this. It is a secret we share openly; keeping it is a trust we have all accepted. It makes life at the beach a sexual adventure with a power I can hardly describe. Jill says it is like fucking behind a glass wall. She loves it and so do I.One summer evening this year, about midnight, we went down to the beach and dropped the towels. The longer you stare, the more you see the same eyeslooking back at you from other faces. Your eyes."Alice," says John from beyond the door. "Your name is Alice."A feeling of contentment washes over you as you stare into yourreflection's eyes."Alice," you whisper. "My name is Alice." That's right," says the voice from beyond the door. "Alice. I chosethat name for you." I am Alice," you say, nodding slowly. "I am... Alice..."You stare into your reflection's eyes. She stares back, nodding slowly."Yes," she whispers. "I am Alice." And now," the voice of John continues from beyond the door. "Will youlet me in?" Yes," you say. "I'll let you in." Open the door, Alice," says the voice.You turn away from the mirror and walk towards the door. You take adeep breath and reach for the handle.Sudden fear grips you as your hand touches the handle. Taking notice ofyour hands for the first time, you pick out the details of your slenderfingers, of your painted nails, of your pale skin. Part of you.
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